So much of what we experience at times is a desire to be anywhere “but” where we presently are. Left unchecked, this tends to become a habitual state of mind, since we have been inundated our entire lives to chase the rabbit at the end of the stick, and that when we achieve what we are after, then somehow magically we will be happy.
At that point in time, when we get the relationship, attract the money, receive the promotion, move into the dream house, drive that luxury car, complete an advanced degree, travel to some exotic spot in the world, receive the love and acceptance of a loved one, or any other ideal that we have as a goal or intention, we will then give ourselves permission to be “happy”. All I can say is good luck with that.
The Happy When Belief
There are numerous examples in our own lives and in the media, where this is definitely not the case, and merely a false assumption or illusion which we have chosen to accept. It’s the “I’ll be happy when _______” belief, and no matter how we fill in the blank, it will never be enough.
In addition to experiencing a sense of loss and disappointment in my own life after the initial buzz of achieving a goal that was, in my mind, supposed to do it for me, and set me up with a blissful life, I have seen it happen in the lives of many others. It’s like, where do we go from here?
Without an adequate foundation for success already in place, the achievements just set us up for disillusionment, self sabotage, and unwise choices. The challenge is not with the achievement per se, but actually with our very own assumptions, expectations, and beliefs that were never verified to be true. So when we arrive at the so called Promise Land, we are left with the same consciousness that we had before we arrived.
The Missing Ingredient
To cut to the chase here, we have left out a very important ingredient prior to taking action toward our goals, whether our goals are large or small. We have failed to realize, even if we may have intellectually heard and accepted this as true, that any type of objective stuff does not have the power to make us feel good or happy.
The only way we can possibly achieve what it is that we really desire, which for all of us is to be happy or feel real good, is by creating that experience or state right this very moment. It may sound a bit simplistic, but it is merely a choice.
The way we get to make that choice without any interference from our mind noise or chatter, is by accepting things “exactly” like they are right this moment, without any denial or sugar coating “what is”. Acceptance is the key to our freedom, and ultimate success and achievements, where we are then able to appreciate our accomplishments, because we were totally okay without them. Being able to completely detach from the outcome of our desires is what gives our intentions the power or fuel to manifest.
The missing ingredient to our happiness and success is acceptance, because when we are happy now just as things are, we will be happy then. We realize that it has been an “inner” game all along, and has had absolutely nothing at all to do with the rabbit at the end of the stick.
“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” ~Brian Tracy
Author Bio: Joseph William Stasaitis, Positive Lifestyle Coach
For nearly twenty (20) years have empowered children and adults to discover their vision, values and strengths by being Heard and Understood. Dedicated to teaching people to AWAKEN to the Moment by discovering their True Power Within.
Joseph has worked with troubled teens, the developmentally disabled, and younger children for over three decades. After completing a degree in psychology from the University of Connecticut, Joseph worked with developmentally disabled adults and children in a regional center setting. Joseph then spent several years in the business world doing consulting work in the computer and microelectronics industries. Joseph then reentered the human services field working in residential, school and family settings teaching life skills, anger management, and independent living. Joseph has also completed a Master of Sacred Science (MSS) degree studying both ancient and modern philosophies. Treating each person as a unique individual, Joseph takes an eclectic approach to interventions and strategies. Currently, Joseph works as a Positive Lifestyle coach and business consultant in San Diego County, California.
Joseph William Stasaitis, B.A., MSS,
FTS Resistance Transformation Associates
A Division of The STASAITIS Group
2914 Luana Drive
Oceanside, CA 92056